Side Tracked

OK, so I got a little side tracked the last couple of weeks and didn't update from my last post.

I did finally get a call back from the dr's office. The gal on the phone couldn't, or more likely wouldn't, give me any specific numbers. Great! Just what I need, someone who plays by the rules. So I made an appt to meet with the dr on Jan 7. So, another cycle down the drain more than likely. Even if I O'd late this cycle and the doc just hands over a scrip on the 7th, it will most likely need to wait until the following cycle. Tick...tock...tick...tock...

I found out an interesting tidbit about my FIL this weekend. He is fully aware of temping and charting. I discovered this when he made a comment to DH about hoping that "that" is successful - as he pointed at my thermometer sitting on the nightstand. Hmmm.....

All in all, it was a good Christmas visit. DS had a fun time playing with his cousins and helping FIL take care of the animals. I just wish we could have stayed another day or two.

The Results Are In...

and I'm "within normal range". OK....well at least they think I'm normal;-)

I've got a call in to find out actual numbers. I need to know exactly what I'm looking at here since we are talking about a range. That's just me, gotta know so I can pretend to be in control. I know I have a better chance of making it snow in Arizona but I can at least pretend!

Oh, and I got the ever popular piece of TTC advice this week - "You should just relax and stop trying so hard. You know you'll get pg if you just relax!" Can I tell you how hard it was not to dump gingerbread shake on my step mother (who has no kids by the way)! And then my ever so insensative DH says "That's what I keep saying". Geeze, thanks for the support there big guy. I know you have ultimate faith in your swimmers getting the job done but there is sooooo much more that could be the problem that has nothing to do with you!

So I ask you, do I sound normal to you?! I'm making myself crazy here. Maybe it is time to put the thermometer down and walk away....

Looking For A Plan

So, AF has shown and I'm not pg - again. Not a real big surprise but disappointing none the less.

I made a call to my dr on Weds. They called back on Thursday and I explained the situation - not pg and a seriously shortened timeline - and they were very understanding. They wrote up the bloodwork order and I went in yesterday morning for a blood draw.

I don't know what's worse, waiting for the results to come back or the 2WW.

After DH came home from his appt at the VA earlier this week he told me he'd had an SA done. I hadn't even had to ask him, he just mentioned to the dr we'd been trying for a while. I don't know what the results were. I'm going to have DH get a copy sent to my dr. One less test we need to do in the future.

Goodbye To A Real Life Angel

Today I was shocked and saddened to hear of the passing of an OL friend. She was a member of a ttc board that I spend time visiting and I got to know her and her DD there. She was such a sweet person, always willing to give a (virtual) hug when you needed it and a fantastic mommy. The truly sad part is that her DD is still very young and she had just given birth to her DS a few weeks ago.

Shortly after we had relocated temporarily back to WA, Christy contacted me because she too was new to that same area. We'd tried to find a time to get together but were never able to. I'm so very sad about this.

Goodbye Christy! We all love you and will miss you.

Note To Self

When you think about getting a flu shot, it's best to do it right away. If you don't you won't get one and then you'll end up getting the flu.

As you might have guessed, I'm not feeling so hot. I made it thru work yesterday but the last couple hours were with a very upset stomach. I felt a little better after I ate some dinner but the nausea has returned. Of course that could also be from me having woken up at 1am and not being able to get back to sleep. I hate nights like this...or should I say mornings like this.

Happy Thanksgiving

What am I thankful for this year? So many things, not the least of which is DH's safe return from deployment. It's been tough readjusting but I'm grateful for being able to have to struggle with that rather than the alternative.

I'm thankful for good health for all of us, a couple of good jobs, family and friends, and especially for the cutest, sweetest little boy in the whole world (even if he is a bit of a grouch right now).

Oh, and BFPs for a couple of ladies who have worked long and hard to see those two pink lines. I hope you both are able to begin enjoying the miracle of growing those precious beans.

I Knew It

Things have been going so well, really they have been. Until DH went to drill on Saturday. Then the other shoe, that damned shoe, dropped like I just knew (and dreaded) it would. His unit is on "warning" for deployment next summer.

Of course there is always the slightest possibilty that they won't have to go but with the current state of things, that's not very likely.

And so we wait, trying to keep things as normal as possible for DS while preparing for more time apart.

Oh, and need I mention that this puts a serious "hurry up" on our TTC timeline? No pressure...

Another Cycle

I'm not quite sure what happened on Sunday but I've been thinking about it alot.

AF showed. Damn her and the crampy broom she rode in on! I can't begin to tell you how frustrating it was, especially given how perfectly we timed things last cycle. I dutifully used my OPKs, took my prenats, we bd when we were supposed to and got our timing just right and nothing. Well, nothing except phantom pg symptoms. Great! Just what I needed.

So, after I managed to get out of bed and showered, we piled into the car and sped off to church. I'm the first person to admit to not being the most religious person but it's important to DH. I can't exactly tell you why I stopped going to church, there are several reasons which I won't go into now.

But this Sunday I went. And I cried all thru mass. I don't know why but I couldn't get the tears to stop flowing. I found myself letting go of alot of my anger at God. And I've come to the decision that, while there are a number of things I don't have any control over, I've decided that I can and will do everything I can to be sure I give myself the best possible chance of getting pg within the next 12 mos. If it doesn't happen at least I can't say I didn't try.

New Dr Update

So DS had his first appt with his new pediatrician. I really liked him, and more importantly so did DS. He came in and talked to DS before beginning the exam and was very patient when DS sidetracked us with showing off how smart he is. They had a poster with Mickey Mouse and the gang that encouraged counting. Without any prompting DS began showing me how many Mickey Mouses, how many Goofys, etc.

The only down side was that DS was behind on vaccinations so he had to get one, plus his flu shot. Poor kid was a little sore but after some walking around, some lunch and a little tylenol he was better. I always want to cry with him when he gets shots.

Happy Halloween

I have to say, there is nothing in this world like experiencing a holiday thru the eyes of a young child. This is especially true of your own child. Tonight we went over to a friend's house and went around their neighborhood with the dad's younger brother and sisters, as well as his 2yo son and infant daughter. It was nice, the neighbors were out and greeting each other, there were no worries.

Today was my son's first real halloween experience. He really and truly understood the concept of trick or treating, and enjoyed it. Not like last year when he kind of got it but was still a little shy about it. The pure joy on his face as he went from house to house was magic to watch.

Speaking of Doctors

Lately I've been obsessed with drs.

I've been trying to get DS in to see his pediatrician with no luck. I originally wanted to be sure to get him his flu shot this year. No go with his ped, they are only giving shots to kids under 3yo. OK, fine, I'll take him somewhere else to get one. A few days later I'm reminded by his daycare that he needs to have his vaccinations updated. So again I call the dr and am told they won't just give him the shot because it's been more than a year since they've seen him (DUH!). Since his 4 year check is due soon anyway I asked to just schedule it a little early and do the vaccine then. Nope! They are booked until after the first of the year. What?! That's crazy! Every dr in a 5 person practice is booked until after January 1, 2008?!

So I began my search for a new ped. Luckily the other ped that came recommended to me is taking new patients and I can get DS in to see him next week!

In the midst of this fiasco I had my own annual exam to go to. It was the rescheduled appt from what was supposed to be my first prenatal check. I just have to say I love, love, love my ob/gyn. The entire office staff is really wonderful. My appt was with the nurse practitioner, whom I really liked already. We chatted about how things were going, DH being back, etc. And I lost it. Between sobs I explained about losing the baby. She was really wonderful. And I think she was a little upset that the office staff hadn't had me come in for bloodwork when I called about the bleeding starting. She immediately ordered bloodwork for me and they took it before I left the office. She promised to call me on Monday with the results.

Just What The Doctor Ordered - Kind Of

I think this past weekend was just what we needed. DH, DS and I were able to get out of town for a little "vacation" to NM. Granted, it was because FIL was having surgery but luckily the surgery ended up only being a day surgery proceedure. He had his ankle pinned a while back and one of the pins broke last winter. The surgery on Monday was to take the broken pin out. OK, so it only took them a year to admit it needed to come out.

DH was able to reconnect with some of his buddies from NM and I think that did him a world of good.

It was also great for DS to be able to spend time with Grandpa J and Grandma J, as well as me and DH. We did all the fun things we could find to do, including the Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque. Absolutely beautiful. I highly recommend it if you are looking for something to do next fall.

Best of all, we were able to spend most of the weekend not thinking about last week. Until the very end of the visit with the IL when my FIL commented that he would like another grandchild. He doesn't know about the baby. We chose not to tell anyone beyond my sister and the sister DH is closest to. All I could do was smile and say "I know." And at that moment reality came crashing back in on me. Just for a moment or two. I don't know if DH heard the comment. If he did he didn't say anything to me about it.

Making Me Crazy

Physically I'm doing ok. The bleeding has stopped and my body has figured out it's no longer pg. Mentally, though, I'm not sure.

Things have been pretty rough this week. DH was officially diagnosed with mild PTSD, which I could have told the dr. He's now on medication, which is good. I thought for sure he would resist but he took his first dose last night without me having to remind him. That's a good thing.

Now if only I could help him do something about the job he loves to hate. I swear, those people are out to make him crazy, and me in the process. It's amazing how all the "We're so glad you're back. We support you 100%. We'll help you get back into the swing of things." talk has evaporated like water in the desert. As soon as DH realized that he was no where ready to be thrown back into things they began to give him a hard time. I mean, let's not work to make the situation better so you will want to come back and stay on staff. Instead, let's throw every roadblock in your way and make it so you dread going to work and add more stress to your life. After all, the state is only experiencing a little short staffing issue when it comes to it's corrections facilites. They don't really need the officers they have to stay and be able to recruit others to work for the DOC, right?

Little Angel

It wasn't meant to be. Last night I woke up with cramping at about 12:30. When I went to the bathroom I realized that I was bleeding. My worst fears come to reality.

I should have guessed this might happen. The BFP I got last week was not very dark.

So I went thru the motions today. It was very surreal, like someone else was doing things and I was just looking thru the holes that are the eyes. I'm tired and my whole body hurts. I don't know if that is normal or not, though I suspect it might be. I've never done this before, and quite honestly I don't want to do it again.

Luckily my DH is the sweetest man I know. This morning he held me while I cried (and I suspect he cried a little himself). He's taken on alot of caring for DS today, which has been nice. It does my heart good to see them together.

Dreams Coming True

So, I realized that I forgot to update yesterday. I did POAS and it was BFP! It was faint but it was there. My temps have stayed up, and went up again this morning. My plan is to test again tomorrow morning and keep temping thru Monday or Tuesday. After that I'll put the thermometer away.

I told DH yesterday. I tried to be "cute" about it and send him a pic message at work but the picture didn't come out well. So I dressed DS in his "I'm the Big Brother" t-shirt and had him ask DH for some milk. When DH saw the shirt he was confused at first. It didn't take him long to figure it out though. LOL! I'm just relieved that he's happy.

My sister knows because she called me yesterday morning and asked me point blank. We'll tell the rest of our families after my first appt in a couple weeks.

OMG! We actually managed to get pg again. I was pretty much ready to admit defeat and move on. I'm going to be 39 this year. I know we are still in for a bit of a rollercoaster ride but we're ready.

Hopes and Dreams

I can't begin to tell you how supremely excited I am for my fellow oldster. Her good news was indeed confirmed last Friday and her numbers look good again early this week. I'm wishing a happy and healthy pregnancy for you my friend! I can't say it enough;-)

My friend S is home with her DD and they are doing well. I spoke with her briefly yesterday to make sure she was home and to offer my help if she needs it.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring some wonderful news for our little family as well. I didn't dare hope that this cycle would be successful but it seems it just might. A nice high temp will be cause for me to POAS in the morning. Keep your fingers crossed!

Congratulations!

I'm sending out a huge congratulations to my good friend S and her husband J. They are the proud parents of a bouncing baby girl, SaraBeth. SaraBeth came into this world today after many years of TTC and the frustration, heartache, and all the other things that go with it.

The only sobering thing about this wonderful day is that SaraBeth was born a singleton though she was conceived as a twin. Don't get me wrong, her parents are so grateful to have her. I know this because S and I talked about this just the day before yesterday. It just seems a little sad that her brother/sister did not make it this far.

Anyway, I would be remiss in mentioning that I'm super excited for another friend of mine. She also has had a long hard TTC road and I'm hoping that the path she is on will be taking a turn for a brighter future very very soon. Can't wait to see her chart tomorrow! I've got it all crossed for you my fellow oldster!!!

Lunch Conversation

Today was a good day. I only had to work half a day so I picked up DH and we went for lunch together, and then did a little shopping. We haven't had a meal out like that for a long time - where it was just the two of us.

While we were waiting for our food we were talking about this that and the other thing - mostly about a potential trip to DLand in December with my sister, BIL and nephew. Somehow we got on the subject of another child and DH made a comment that he didn't think we'd have another one. Excuse me?! I didn't know he was feeling like that. I thought I was the one who was pessimistic about getting pg again. Every other time we talk about it he's always been more optimistic than that.

So this time it was me that had to say "We'll see what happens" and all the other trite things people say but never really mean. I know that time is running out on us. I hate feeling hopeless about this.

He's Normal!

So today I had lunch with a co-worker who's DD is about 6 weeks older than DS. As we were talking, I asked if her DD was as chatty as my DS. She looked at me and said "OMG, yes!" The more we talked the more comfortable I began to feel that he really is normal. Whew!

Oh, and right now he's playing with his LeapFrog letters on the fridge. It's annoying but adorable!

Where's the Off Switch?!

OK, don't get me wrong. I love my DS with all my heart and I'm glad that his verbal skills have improved so much lately. But OMG, please, someone tell me how on earth do I turn this kid's talking switch off?!

I'm not kidding! The kid will repeat the same thing at least twice after he's told me the first time. And if I don't answer each time he'll repeat it again.

I'm sure this is due to being in day care and having to compete with up to 20 other kids for the teacher's attention but man alive! It's wearing me out!

Other than that, though, his verbal skills have hit an entirely new level lately. He's having complete conversations with us now, some of which are initiated by him. Yesterday, for instance. He likes to have a snack in the car on the way to day care so he asked if he could have some grapes. I said yes and fixed him a little bowl to take with us. After we'd gotten on the road I realized we'd left the grapes at home. He looked a me and said "Let's turn around and go back and get them." After surpressing a laugh I told him we were running late and couldn't go back. He said "That's ok, I'll eat them when I get home." Then he proceeded to move on to the topic of "what's that out my window".

Each morning now we pass by one of the local high schools. Their football "stadium" is right on school grounds and we can see it from the road as we pass. DS calls it the football high school and insists he can go there because he's a bigger boy now. LOL! I told him he needs to be a little bigger before he can go to the football high school.

Deja Vu All Over Again

So, we've moved and begun to settle into a "normal" routine as a family. It's a little hard right now because my mom is still here helping. And she's been a HUGE help, though she doesn't always see it that way.

DS is missing my dad and step mother something awful. He was asking for them last night. I promised him he could talk to them on the phone tonight after school.

DH has gone back to work. Nothing has changed out there. Guess that's a good thing.

I have started working again, at the same place I was before, only doing something different. It's a little frustrating because I don't have access to all the information I need to start really working. Hopefully by the end of the week.

Someone asked yesterday if I was glad to be back. The answer is yes! Even though it's 110 degrees, muggy as hell and I'm so tired. I'm glad to be back.

Sadness

CK, I'm thinking of you. I know that today (Tuesday) is going to be incredibly difficult for you and your beloved. I just wanted you to know that I'll be sending PPT for you both. I hope this is the last time you have to endure this kind of torture.

Huge hugs for you both!

My Surprise This Week

I have to just mention how surprised I am about something. In my job I work with alot of volunteers. They are the docents at our museum. The make up of this group is really wide ranging - from blue collar on the assembly line guys to upper management at the local airplane manufacturer, from teachers to doctors to CPAs. Their one common love - airplanes. Most, but not all, are retirees. They are an interesting cross section of people.

So this week I've been letting each shift of docents know that next week is my last week. Some seem surprised, some don't. All of them understand my reasons for leaving - keeping my family together. It's been very interesting to see even the gruffest, grumpiest of these guys soften just a little during out meetings this week. They remember what it's like and they sympathize.

Only once did I almost cry this week. I've become close to some fo these men and women. They are truly wonderful people, even if they can get a little grumpy at times.

It's funny, a couple months ago I was talking with my director and mentioning how I had become a little dissillusioned. I'd gone into this job expecting these docents to be like my own grandfather and they weren't. Well, I was wrong. They are just like my grandfather was. Each of them has the same determination that the story of their generation not be forgotten. And each of them has the determination that THEY not be forgotten and that they continue to be able to do something for their community. I'm just really glad they chose this particular museum to share with.

Back from the doctor...

And today's appt was a monumental waste of $20. As soon as I got home from the doctor I had to pee and low and behold AF has made her appearance.

I can't say I'm not a little disappointed. It would have been nice to be pg. But I'm also being honest when I say I'm a little relieved. With all the uncertainty of moving, etc, this will give us time to get settled in.

CD 40 And Counting

So, AF is still a no show. CD 40 is coming to a close. I'm not sure what to think. I've never had a cycle last this long, at least not when I'm not pg. I have an appt with the doctor tomorrow afternoon. I'm not sure what to expect. I guess I'm just hoping to have some kind of definitive answer - am I pg or not. Either way we can deal with it.

And to top it off, I've now got a head cold. I woke up with a stuffy nose this morning. Just what I need to make my life so much more fun.

The Mind Of A Child

It's amazing to me how much my DS has grown up over the last year. When we first moved in with my dad and step mother last summer, DS was very much still a baby - my baby. His verbal skills were a little behind, mostly because we all anticipated what he wanted so he never had to learn to ask for what he wanted. Now the child talks non stop! It's wonderfully frustrating.

His physical abilities have really come into sharp focus as well. Several months ago I bought a t-ball set for him to play with. Now he won't use the tee. He insists that you pitch to him, and he's a good hitter! I think I've lost more weight shagging baseballs for him than I did running after work. LOL! And he's now tall enough to see over the handle of the shopping cart at the grocery store when he's helping push - standing on the under cart shelf.

And just now, as he was watching Chicken Little, after the scene where Goosey Loosey tried to toss Chicken Little out of the gym window, he looked at me and said "Mommy, is it good to throw people out of the window?" The question took me by surprise! I'll admit I was blog stalking and not paying attention to the movie. Of course I ansered him that it wasn't because you could hurt someone, to which he nodded his head and said "Yeah, it's not nice."

Happy 2nd Birthday Ryan!!

I'm sending many hugs to your Mommy and Daddy. I hope they are able to find some peace today. We'll be singing Happy Birthday to you and having cake in your honor tonight.

Sorry to leave you hanging!

So, I POAS (twice in one day!) and it was BFN. So, I'm still sitting here, waiting for AF to show. If she doesn't show by Friday I'll POAS again. Interestingly, the feeling that she is going to come has just gone away. I don't have any IPS to speak of, just some off and on nausea that is easily controlled by having a snack.

On another note, I turned in my resignation at work today. We are headed back to the desert southwest in a couple weeks. I've spent the last couple days researching how we'll get there, places to live, and day cares for DS. I've narrowed down the search to two places to live and a couple of options for day care. Wish me luck deciding.

Still Waiting

So, I survived the week from hell at work. I have to say, as exciting as it is to have the Blue Angels in town, I can honestly say I'll be glad to have them gone. It's made things crazy at work.

As for my temper tantrum from last week, well, there's been no resolution on that front. I'm no closer to seeing a visit from AF now than I was last Tuesday. I'm going to POAS in the morning. I've about come to terms with the idea of not being PG - and the idea that I just might be PG! I have to say, as much as I really want another baby the thought of being pg while dealing with moving, etc is a little daunting. I'll survive, others have done it so I can too. I may not be sane but I can do it!

Little Green Monster

So the little green monster has reared it's ugly head again. On Monday my sister told me she is pg. She got her BFP that morning. I'm happy for her but so disappointed and sad for myself. I really want to be pg. What a loser, eh? I can't even be truly happy for my sister. It's not like it's another younger cousin or something. What is wrong with me?! God PMS is such a pain in the ass. I know that's what is feeding this - magnifying it so that I become this whiny, miserable excuse for a sister. OK, and the exhaustion of spending all day with very very active 6 and 7 year olds.

Sigh! Time to go hide out and wait for AF to bring sweet relief from this hormonal yuckiness.

Happy and Sad

So, we are back from all the welcome home festivities. We survived the longest 4 days ever! We had a great time but I'm glad to be back "home" and trying to settle into a routine.

The only thing is, I'm not sure what sort of routine we should be settling into. It looks like I'm going to take the PT job in AZ so we can be back by the middle part of August when DH has to be back at work. This is going to be one heck of a couple weeks - keeping my head in my job and arranging for housing and moving our stuff back to AZ.

I'm desparately sad for my friend CK. The optimistic side of me (which is growing smaller by the day) wants to hold out hope that her twins will hang in there but I don't want to seem foolish when all the signs point otherwise. I think I'll go with the hope that a miracle will happen. I know not many of them have happened lately but if anyone deserves to have a miracle touch their lives it's CK and her Beloved.

Waaahhhoooooo!!!!

I know I could have included this in my update but I really wanted to give it it's own post. I'm so freaking excited for my friend CK. Check out her big news!

I've "known" CK since we were both TTC our first children. She was the community leader on our board when I got my BFP with Jack. I didn't really get to know what an amazing woman she is until much later though. If you don't know her story, read her blog. I promise you won't regret it!

And CK, I know the coming months are going to be filled with anxiety for you and your Beloved. Know that we will all be here for you! If you need anything, I'm just an email (or post) away.

Settling In

It's been two days now since DH came home. Things are still working their way back to "normal" - whatever that is. We've got our trip to Las Vegas for the official welcome home this weekend. After that we can work on making plans for the future.

We did talk about what's next and agree that a move back to AZ is what we want. I've got a job interview in AZ on Tuesday so I'm hoping we'll be able to make that move soon!

Right now I'm just enjoying having him home and safe. DS is over the moon having Daddy home.

The hardest thing so far? Learning to share the bed, and the covers, again! LOL!

And yes, the little spat that first night blew over.

Home At Last!

So the good news is that DH is now home!! He arrived safe and sound at his demob site and called me as soon as they got off the plane. What a relief!

Of course, we also had our first fight on the phone during that same conversation. Sigh! It's not a big deal, just wish it had been longer than the first 10 minutes he was here.

So I'm looking forward to actually being able to see him. It may not be until the weekend but I'm hoping that we can arrange to meet this evening.

He's Home

Dad is home! He came home this morning and is doing so much better just being in his house with his things and getting on with his recovery in a more calm atmosphere.

I'm telling you, a hospital is a horrible place to be sick! I thought that my experience when I had DS was unique to the maternity ward (hourly wakings for vitals, etc) but nope!!

So here's to an uninterrupted night of sleep!

Side Effects

Sorry to leave you hanging after my last post. Here's the latest:

The surgery was done in exactly the time the dr said it would be. Dad came thru with flying colors! There was little to no damage to his heart, which is a very good sign. That means he hasn't had any heart attacks that they can see and it also means his recovery should go smoothly.

He's been in the CCU since Friday. He only spent one night in ICU! They've already gotten him up and walking, and have started making plans for him to come home some time tomorrow. Wow! That's fast!

My sister, BIL and I will be moving my dad's bed down to the lower level of the house. It will be easier for him than climbing the stairs all the time, at least until he has more strength. But we're leaving the treadmill in his room so he can use it whenever he wants;-)

An interesting "side effect" is on the relationship (or what there was/is of one) between my dad and mom. They've been divorced for about 5 years now but were separated for several years before that. Until now it's been strained at best whenever we get together for family stuff - weddings, birthdays, etc. On the 4th we went to my sister's for a bbq and I guess my dad, mom and step mother had an interesting conversation. One that ended with them on better terms than before. I hadn't realized that it had even taken place until yesterday when my step mother said something about it.

Here's hoping that this week is the start of a healthy dad, and a healthier family!

Bombshell

So the high I was feeling at my last post has long since faded away - and it's only been a few short days.

Within 48 hrs of my last post we learned that my dad needs to have triple bypass surgery. Talk about a total shock! He's perfectly healthy (aside from a bum knee, chronically sore hip, and diabetes) and not feeling at all like he had heart problems.

The last 48 hrs has been a total whirl wind. Test after test and making arrangements for this and that. It's amazing what you can accomplish in so short a time if you need to. I don't think I've had a chance to process it yet.

So here we sit in the hospital waiting room, anxious for any scrap of information they can give from the operating room, trying not to drive each other crazy.

Did I mention how much I hate hospitals?

It's July - Finally!!!

Now normally the beginning of a two month stretch with only one holiday and super hot weather does not elicit joy in my heart. I am, after all, a heat wimp disliking temps much above 80 degrees. However this year will be an exception. DH is due home in a few weeks and it can't go by soon enough.

But I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't have some fear about him coming home. It's the same old stuff I think I blogged about before - how will he fit back into our routine, how will we have to change our routine, etc?

Ok, I just need to take a deep breath and focus on one thing at a time. Let's start with finding a job in AZ...

Note to Self

When trying to be sexy riding on the back of your boyfriend/husband's motorcycle, don't wear skin tight low rise pants and a short waisted leather coat. Stuffed sausage legs and plumber's crack are not the least bit attractive!

Happy Father's Day!!

To my DH, I wish you were here to see how much your little guy is like you. It amazes me! We both miss you so much and can't wait until you are home. Just a few more weeks!!

To my Dad, thank you for being such a wonderful person. We may not see eye to eye on alot of things but you have been a great support to me through out my life, and also for my DS.

To my father-in-law, thank you for being a wonderful dad to DH. You did a wonderful job raising him to be the man his is.

To my grandfathers, you both are such an inspiration to me. I miss you both every day and I wish you could have met DH and DS. I know you would be proud of them both.

To all the Dads out there, I wish you a day of peace and love.

Honoring Sacrifice

There is a discussion taking place locally that I think is important. I'm not sure where I come down on this issue because I can easily see both sides.

Our local Army base has a number of soldiers serving in Operation Iraqi Freedom and in Afghanistan. Like many other units, sadly, they have been taking casualties. It's been an all too frequent occurance for a memorial service to be scheduled seemingly every day.

Recently, the commanding officer has decided that the base will hold one memorial service per month honoring all the soldiers who were KIA the previous month. His reasoning is that it's hard on morale and so many people are attending memorial services that it is cutting into productivity. It's not like we are talking one or two a month - we are talking three, four, sometimes more a week!

You can imagine how this decision was received by families, the soldiers, and the public. There has been an outcry that it is unfair to the families and disrespectful of the sacrifice made by each of the soldiers who have died and the soldiers who served with them.

I'm just not sure how I feel about this. Like I said, I understand the commander's position. He is trying to balance the need for closure and to honor the fallen soldiers with the need to keep the base operating. But, as an Army wife I can understand the families position. You want your loved one honored but not in an assembly line, cookie cutter fashion.

My Soap Box

OK, I have to rant about this for a minute. It's about work - more or less - so you can skip it if you want. Then again, you might just want to read on...

Why, oh why, do parents insist on not taking responsibility for their children?! Or adults for themselves for that matter! Seriously, is it so hard for you to work with your children so they understand what is, and is not, acceptable behavior in public?

As a parent I'm fully aware of what my child is doing at all times, most especially in public. When we are out at the mall, or a museum, or theatre, or church, I expect him to behave a certain way. Now I do realize DS is 3.5 so he's going to make some questionable choices - throwing his leg over the back of the pew in church and riding it like a horse comes to mind. But it's up to me, his parent, to guide him and tell him that's not acceptable behavior. Not a docent, not an usher, or any other employee of the establishment I'm visiting.

So my question is, why do some parents find it so difficult to monitor their child(ren) in public? I work in a museum. No, it's not an art museum but our collection is pretty valuable and unique. The whole purpose for a museum is to preserve and protect the artifacts in the collection. Just because we do not have everything under glass does NOT mean people, or their children, should feel free to climb all over the artifacts! And can I mention here the serious lack of judgement in hoisting your child thru the air intake of a jet engine so they can crawl up into an aircraft?!

Now you see my frustration here. Its a fine line we are walking here. You want the visitor to enjoy their time here but you want them to have some respect for the artifacts.

Babies Everywhere

This past Sunday was a true test of my resolve to not let my frustration get the better of me. I'm pleased to say I made it thru an entire day with talk of babies swirling around me and only had to excuse myself once!

DS and I met up with my sisters and cousins and all the kids for a fun filled day at the nature park near here. It's one of those places where you ride the tram thru the park and hope to see one animal during the ride. We got very lucky and managed to see buffalo, deer, elk, moose, mountain goats, big horn sheep and many, many ducks. We even caught a glimps of the new baby moose in the herd, something that, aparently, is pretty hard to do.

All in all it was a nice day, though the weather could have cooperated a little more. We got rained on through out our visit. It's a good thing we weren't there to impress anybody! We looked like drowned rats, lol.

Oh, and I am starting to feel human again. This cold really knocked me out more than I thought.

My biggest frustration of the week so far? The Army once again shows that they don't know what the hell is going on most of the time. In the last two weeks I've gotten two different stories about where DH's demobilization is going to take place. Not that I should really take either one of them seriously. We are still too far out to really know for certain what is going to happen and when.

Patience

So, yeah, I'm still whining about my cousins being pg. But in all fairness, it's mostly PMS related. And really it's only in my head, and here where I feel relatively safe because I know the people who read this understand the frustration to one extent or another. In all honesty, I am happy for both cousins. Happy and envious. I'm going to allow myself that feeling too. If I don't I will be overwhelmed by it.

The fact that I've now caught DS's cold is not helping matters. We've had a rough sleep week, generally speaking, and the weather has gone back to cold and grey so that, on top of work stress, is making this one rough week! The best thing about this week? It's going by quickly!

No word yet on the job I applied for back in AZ. I was kind of hoping I would have heard from them by now. It's been 2 weeks come Friday. I know they are slow in HR but seriously, 2 weeks?! As you may have guessed by now, patience is not really a strong point of mine;-)

Speaking of patience...DS's new thing is to tell me "Be patient Mommy!" It's totally cute, and frustrating at the same time. The only time he dawdles is when we are in a hurry, of course.

Only One With a Black Eye Now

So maybe it's PMS, or maybe it's fatigue, or maybe it's both. Whatever it is, there is no kick in the stomach like the one you get from someone who sends you an email shouting that they are pregnant.

Yup! You read that right. Yet another cousin, another younger cousin, is pg. And joy of joys, she some how thinks it's twins. The promise of email updates is just keeping me on the edge of my keyboard.

I just want to burst into tears right now. The frustration is overwhelming. Really overwhelming. I'm so scared that we won't be successful when DH gets home.

I'm also scared that the last few weeks DH is overseas will end up with him, or someone from his unit, getting seriously hurt. It seems like many injuries, or deaths, happen during the weeks leading up to the guys return home. Not sure why that is but I'd feel much better if I knew for sure they were not doing any more runs. The less time he spends on the road the more likely the chance he'll come home safely.

On the bright side, DS's eye is back to normal. His scratch is barely visible and the bruising and swelling is completely gone.

A Black Eye

Last week was a rough week for my poor DS. He had a little run in with a dump truck at school. He and his little buddy decided to play with the truck on the slide. When his friend sent it down the slide, DS didn't move fast enough (or maybe at all!) and the truck hit him in the side of his face near his eye. He's fine! He got a scratch and, eventually, a black eye. But he didn't cry or anything! My tough little guy.

It does look like DH will be home in July. I still don't have a date yet. I'm so excited! As soon as he gets home we are going to be able to start TTC again. I can't tell you how ready I am to have him home so we can get back to our lives!

It's funny how you react to the news someone you know is pg. Yesterday my sister was checking her email and read that one of our cousins is pg. My sister is very excited and happy. I, on the other hand, was devistated. My first reaction was, is she crazy?! She's too young, it's a bad idea. She's already got a 2yo son, and no, she's not really too young. She's got a job, her husband has a job, they have a house, all the things you're supposed to have. My reaction was purely related to my inabilty to get pg over the last 18 mos or so. It's dumb, and not fair to her. I haven't responded to her email yet. I need to. I just don't want to really deal with the pretend excitement I will end up having to portray.

It feels like both DS and I got a black eye this week...

Still Here

I don't really have alot to say. That's not true, I have alot to say but I fear it would bore most people to tears. I just didn't want anyone who might still be reading this to think I've abandoned you;-)

And so I'll just close this post and head for bed. Morning will be here before I know it. It's been a long week and tomorrow promises to be a busy day.

Time is Getting Short

I can't believe it's been so long since my last post. Life has been moving in fast forward and I feel like I'm just hanging on sometimes.

DS is doing wonderfully. He's become quite the little person lately. Some days I love it and some days it drives me batty! But we get thru it.

The happy realization this week has been that DH is going to be home by the end of July. We still don't have a firm date yet. I'm a little nervous about what life will be like once he's home. The adjustment is going to be difficult. I know we'll get thru it, but its the anxiety of the unknown that makes me nervous.

A Difficult Week

The last week has been difficult on a couple of different fronts. Work has been stressful, mostly because Tuesday was the day from hell. Everything that could go wrong did - in one day. We did manage to survive and the week slowly improved though I was exhaused by the end of the day yesterday. This adjusted work week is not fun and I can't wait until it's over. 4 more weeks...

I've also been thinking alot about what happened at VA Tech. I've watched the news coverage, read the news articles and the stories of the victims, and I find myself just so very sad. Not only sad for the families of the victims but sad for the person who did the killing. I know it's not a very popular sentiment but I can't help it. As one who has suffered the darkness of depression, I can't help but wonder - how does a person get to that level? how does a family not see that the person is sinking that deeply into depression and mental illness? And how can I keep that from happening to my child?

I have to admit, I dread when DS starts going to school. He's a very sensitive child and I wonder how will he handle the teasing? Will he be strong enough to withstand the inevitable childhood ribbing and whatever bullies come with grade school and middle school? Will he resist becoming one of those boys who teases and bullies? It frightens me every time I hear stories about how cruel kids are to each other. Add to this the fear that he will fall prey to the darkness and it gets overwhelming fast.

So the mother in me is just so sad for the children that were lost on Monday, all of them. The children who had grown up to make a difference in their student's lives as wonderful professors, the children who had such promise as young adults - promise that must now go unfulfilled, and the child it seems felt unnoticed and on the fringes of life. And I cry for them all.

That Didn't Last Long

More good news from our fearless leader in D.C. The prospect of DH having to spend any additional time beyond his 12 mos overseas is not, I repeat NOT, sitting well. Sigh! And I don't know which news report to believe. Some say ARNG is included in this and some say ARNG is not included.

And still we wait for straight answers.

Good Times

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend. DS and I went to visit the IL. It was a great time! Lots of baby animals and DS enjoyed playing with them. This is the first visit where DS actually wanted to hold the animals and pet them. He even tolerated the dogs! By the end of the first full day he was yelling "Get down!" at them like the rest of us, lol.

I just wish DH had been there. He would have gotten a kick out of DS milking the goats and chasing them across the field. The best, though, was the mile wide smile as DS drove the tractor around the field.

And now we are back home and having to get back to reality. Sigh! The next few weeks are full and will hopefully pass quickly.

Out To Lunch

So today I was invited to go to lunch with some of my co-workers. It was fun to be able to talk with them "outside" work. And lunch was pretty good too.

I highly recommend you check out Costco's menu. Seriously! No, I don't mean the samples they have at the end of every aisle (though that's a thought). The food is good and the prices are better. Seriously, where else can you get a hugemongous piece of pizza and a soda for under $3?!

Happiness Is...

Getting to see pictures of a friend (and ex-lover) and discovering that you are not the only one who has put on weight since college.

;-)

Break Time

I'm very much looking forward to visiting my inlaws next week. I know...call me crazy. But I really do get along pretty well with my MIL. It will be an interesting visit because it will be the first time I've been there without DH. I'm taking DS to see them. We try and go this time every year, along with either Thanksgiving or Christmas.

The other reason I'm looking forward to this visit is it will give me, and my "housemates" a much needed break from each other. It's been a rough couple weeks and the return of the lousy weather hasn't helped.

I'm trying not to dwell on things not under my control. I can't change someone who has been the way she is for 50+ years. I can only make things better for DS and that is going to be my focus.

It's All About the Weather

I think spring is finally trying to come to the Pacific Northwest. We've had some interesting weather the last couple of weeks but the last few days have been pretty wonderful. Yesterday we even broke the 70 degree mark!

I can't begin to tell you how glad I am that the weather is turning nicer and the days are getting longer. I believe that I suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) though I've never been officially diagnosed. In the couple of years before I moved to AZ I had a really hard time during the winter months. My mind pretty much shut down and I would slide back into a depressed stupor that would last pretty much from December thru April.

After moving to AZ I noticed that I didn't have that problem any more! It was amazing to me. At first I tried to pass it off as being related to meeting DH, being happier in my job, blah, blah, blah. But now I realize that it really was related to the weather.

This winter has been hard again but realizing the reason behind it has helped. I'm not as deep into my funk as I normally get, probably due to having DS to keep me focused. But don't let that fool you, I still can't wait to get back to the "sun and fun" of AZ. Until then I'll enjoy each spring day here. There's nothing like spring in the PNW. Really! The moderate temps, the cool breezes (which are what I miss the most when I'm in AZ), the birds singing, the flowers and trees blooming... It gives one hope that the coming year will be better than the last one.

Happy 2nd Birthday Thomas

This 'n That

So the other good news this week has been about my friend S. I spoke with her the other day and she is doing wonderfully, though she is sick as can be the poor dear. They did lose one of the babies but the remaining baby is strong. She hit the 10 week mark yesterday. That's the longest she's ever been pregnant!

If you remember back in December I told you about the G family and their little girl Sarah. We were honored to go with them when they finally laid the headstone for Sarah, thanks to the generous gift from a foundation. One of the local news stations collected footage for a segment and today it aired. They did a FANTASTIC job on the story. I cried, again, as they told the G family's story, and the story of the family that created the foundation. It's refreshing to see the media get something right, and I think they did with this story. They handled it with dignity and respect for both families, and in a very sensitive manner.

An Update From The Front

The most disturbing phone call you can get from your husband is one that involves the word "explosion". Luckily it was him making the call, and wasn't a visit from a group of Army officials that includes the chaplain. I won't go into alot of detail, for obvious reasons, but I will say that today was the second time I was almost made a widow. The thought makes my blood run cold. It's one that plays at the back of your mind all the time and you hope to never allow it to come to the front.

We were lucky today, no one got hurt.

Worse Than Taxes

Want a fool proof way of ruining your Sunday afternoon? Try doing your taxes AND finding out that a dumbass has gotten his girlfriend pregnant - again!

I couldn't believe my eyes when I read an email from an aquaintance bragging about how his girlfriend is pregnant, with their second child, and the not so subtle implication is it was an "accident".

The insensitivity of his email was not intentional. He has no way of knowing that DH and I were TTC for so long before he was sent over seas. But I must say it took all my strength and self control not to send him a scathing email back. Maybe what made me angry was his comment that "we should know how to avoid this", or something along those lines. It finally came down to this...he does seem to be happy and I didn't want to ruin that for him or his girlfriend.

I know I shouldn't let news like this get to me but it's so hard. I can think of several other people I'd rather hear are pregnant than A and his girlfriend.

And to add insult to injury, DH told me yesterday morning that the wife of one of his friends in AZ is also pregnant. She got pg while he was home on leave. Hmmmmm...lucky them.... I about burst into tears on the phone. And DH is so sweet, offering to have an SA or whatever it took when he gets home. I know it's not him, it's me - either I'm too fat or too old. And I hate, Hate, HATE the fact that we are losing precious cycles while DH is away. I'm going to be 39 this year, there's not much time left.

So, my new goal for the next 5 months is to drop as many lbs as I can before DH gets home. I'll be damned if my weight is going to be an issue for us when it comes to getting pregnant.

Happy Days

So, a week (or more) has come and gone. DS is feeling much better, thank goodness. I love him with all my heart but puke and poop are my two least favorite things to have to deal with - let alone at the same time.

DH managed to score many points on Valentines day by sending me a beautiful flower arrangement. Generally speaking we don't "do" Valentines day so it was a nice surprise to get the flowers.

I've made it thru two weeks on my new job and haven't managed to mess things up too badly. I'm lucky to have a couple co-workers who are supportive and willing to answer my dumb questions. It's definitely not entirely what I thought it would be, but I'm looking forward to the challenge.

And Saturday a friend of mine gave me some of the best news I could have gotten on a beautiful, warm and sunny almost spring day in the NW. She's pregnant! S and J have been TTC since about the time DH and I started TTC 4 years ago. S has had 2 m/c in the last 18 or so months and was about ready to give up last time I talked to her. I can't say I blame her! All the medical proceedures, the poking and prodding, the meds and their awful side effects...they can take a toll on a person! And to endure this for almost 4 years is super human in my book.

Best of all, S is carrying twins:-) She's a bit wigged out but very excited. Both babies are looking good at this point. S is due to have another ultrasound this week to check their progress.

So, life is pretty good here. Now, if only the weather would stay nice for longer than 10 minutes at a time...

Update on the sickie

Well, the sickie is better though not 100%. I'm not sure whether it was bad food, a touch of the flu or what. At least the vomiting has stopped.

Life is settling into a routine again. This new job is going to be challenging, more so than I thought. That's ok, I'd rather have the challenge than be bored, which is how I was at my old job.

I really don't have much interesting or inspiring to say tonight. I'm pretty tired and have to be up early so I think I'm going to turn in. I'm guessing I won't run tomorrow morning either. AF showed today and I'm kinda crampy and not feeling up to dealing with a 4am wake up call.

Sickie Baby

The most horrible feeling in the world is not being able to help your child when he or she is sick. DS is not feeling well tonight - something he ate this afternoon I suspect. I'm hoping the worst of the vomiting is over now so he can get some sleep tonight.

Trucking Along

So far so good with the new job. I'm still adjusting to the new schedule, though this is going to be a tough week. I have to do a "sleep over" on Thursday night - basically pull an all nighter, something I haven't done in many many years.

DS seems to be adjusting pretty well. Luckily he loves to ride in my dad's guck (truck) and my dad is the one taking him to daycare for me. This way I get to pick him up and can spend some time with him before bed. I can't wait til the days get longer and it stays light longer!

The one piece of bad news the last week or so concerns my grandmother. She's going to be 90 this year (yikes!) and we found out that she's got 80% blockage in her heart. The docs were originally thinking she might be able to try using meds to correct this but now they say the best way is to do angioplasty. I'm a little nervous about this. She's not the most active person to begin with and the recovery could be difficult. The doc seems to think she's a good enough candidate though. It just makes me nervous that she has to go all the way to San Diego for the operation. We don't have a surgery date yet. Hopefully by the weekend we'll know more.

Out Of Practice

I have to admit, not having to work a full 40 hrs a week since June has made me soft. I'm exhausted and the week's not over yet! But exhausted in a good way of course.

The new job is going well. I've managed to locate the top of my desk and to get the ok to toss all of the crap the person before me accumulated. She was the ultimate pack rat - kept everything from the beginning of time in notebooks. My chore is to dump as much of it as I can! The best part is, I'm also going to continue training on the education programs I was working on before I got the job. I'm glad, I think I would miss working with the kids, even though they can drive you crazy;-)

DH is doing ok, from what I can tell. He can't talk about things as freely when he's "on a run" and we don't hear from him as often. It makes me nervous. The most dangerous time for them is on runs.

DS has decided that he LOVES the car wash. Today he insisted we go thru it with our car. Either my van was really dirty or he's just a goofball, lol. I think it was probably a bit of both. The van did need a rinse. I can't wait til it warms up enough to be able to wash the van ourselves.

I Got It!

So I started my new job today. I found out last Friday that they wanted me to take the position I'd interviewed for almost two weeks ago. I have to laugh because today wasn't any different from any other day really. Just a couple of short briefings added to the mix. The real schedule starts the week after next.

I'm still worried about the impact this is going to have on DS. I may end up having to switch day cares, though I'd rather not. I just don't like the idea of him being in day care for so long - have I mentioned that yet?

DS does seem to be doing a little better. He still has his moments where he gets quiet. I guess I'll just need to keep him busier. Week days aren't so bad, it's the weekends that have been rough. I'm hoping that this new job will help out with that. I'll have Saturday and Sunday off after this weekend. The fact that the weather is getting nicer and the days are getting longer helps too! I can't wait to get DS out into the back yard with his Tball set. He just loves baseball and asks to watch it all the time, lol! Yet another difficult thing to explain to a 3yo, the concept of a baseball season;-)

My Second Worst Fear

So last night I sat down and started a post but was interrupted by the call of my night owl DS. I don't even really remember what I was going to blather on about.

You see, my sweet little boy (I am trying hard not to call him a baby since he's now 3 years old) was having a difficult day yesterday. I'm not sure what was wrong but I'm beginning to have my suspicions. I really think he's missing his daddy these days.

It all started to gel with me last weekend. I was visiting with my mom when I dropped him off to stay with her while I was at work. She was relating to me the story of one of her clients and his little boy. Apparently it's been a tough custody battle and the boy has been caught in the middle (surprise!). So anyway, the gist of the story is the boy is getting to spend more time with his daddy now. And as my mom was telling me this I noticed that DS had stopped playing with his toys and was on the verge of tears. When I asked him what was wrong he just looked at me and then fell into my chest. I asked him if he missed his daddy and he just nodded. I almost cried.

So this week has proceeded as normal - work, daycare, and our daily phone calls with DH. Normally DS will say a quick "Hi" and be done but lately he's started talking to DH. Of course DH doesn't really catch most of the conversation but he plays along well. Like I said, normal stuff - until yesterday. DS was having the worst day. I swear he had toddler PMS or something. I couldn't even look at him without him dissolving into tears. If I told him he couldn't do something or have something same thing, instant tears. His teacher at day care said the same thing. Even his nap didn't cure his mood like it normally would. So I just let him try to express his frustrations and feelings the best he could. It was a rough day!

Today I picked DS up from day care earlier than normal. We had a great time doing some grocery shopping and playing when we got home. DS has taken to hand games. You know the ones where you hide a ball or something in one hand (with your hands behind your back) and have someone guess which hand it's in. After dinner as I was helping him wash his hands and face DS decided to pretend he had a camera and was taking my picture. We were having great fun with this until I said "Oh, that was a good one! Let's send that one to Daddy!" DS nodded his agreement but was very quiet after that.

This is what I feared would happen. How do I help my son understand why his daddy isn't here when everyone else's daddy is? He's 3 years old for crying out loud! All he knows is his daddy isn't here and there's no way to explain it so he'll understand. Believe me, I've tried. And even if I could explain it it doesn't change the fact that DH isn't home with us and won't be for another 7 mos.

And just in case you were wondering, all the attention lavished upon a child by grandparents and aunts and uncles does not replace a missing parent.

Snow - Bleh!

OK, I'm going to whine here for a minute. If you don't want to listen turn the volume down on your TV for 30 seconds...

I like snow, I really do, but this is getting ridiculous! We've had the worst weather the last 2 mos or so. The end of November was the first big snow storm, then a week later was the big windstorm followed by snow last week. Last week and this week we've gotten more snow followed by freezing temps at night and warmer temps (above freezing - barely) during the day. That means MORE ice on the roads. People here don't do well with ice on the roads.

And to top it off schools have been closed which means my programs at work have been cancelled. This means no pay check for me. Lord, I hope I get the job I interviewed for today. It's full time which means better pay (not by much but better) and I'm not going to be as dependant on programs for hours.

DS has been having the time of his life. This morning he looked at me and said "I love the snow Mommy!" while we were cuddling on the couch watching it snow. It did concern him that Santa might be lost though. I think I managed to assuage his fears by explaining about the North Pole again;-) Ahhhh to be 3 and have your biggest concern be whether Santa is directionally challenged.

And did I mention I'm PMSy and AF showed yesterday without so much as a crampy warning?!

About the only good thing that's happened this week is that DH has managed to not get blown up. The last couple runs he's had to make have been pretty intense. I don't have all the details of course but I don't really need them.

Reality Check

So I'm not turning out to be any better at posting this year than I was last year. I swear, I look away from the calendar for a moment and a week has gone by!

Not that there is much to really write about these days. With the holidays over we are settling back into routine. This week should be interesting on a couple different fronts:

1) I will be interviewing for a full time position at the museum. Hooray! I really hope I get the job. If I don't I'm going to have to find another part time one close to home. I'm just not picking up the hours I need, unfortunately.

2) The weather is promising to be nasty starting tomorrow evening. They are even calling for snow! As long as the power doesn't go out again, I'm ok with it.

On the bright side, DS is doing really well with potty training. He hasn't had a real accident in about three weeks. By real I mean flat out ignoring the urge to go and soiling his pants. He's had one or two "misses" where he's almost made it but not quite. My least favorite thing in the world of potty training a boy is trying to get him to stand still long enough to finish actually peeing IN the toilet. I've cleaned the bowl and floor in both bathrooms in the house (that we use) more times lately...and it's one of my least favorite chores.

DH is doing well, though he sounds tired when I talk to him. He's hating being over seas. I really think being gone for the holidays got to him. It makes me glad that he didn't end up getting the two year deployment to Afghanistan! I don't think he would have been able to make it.

I somehow need to figure out a time to go visit the IL. DH was saying today that his mom is having a hard time right now. FIL had ankle surgery back in late Sept/early Oct and is wheelchair bound for a while. That means MIL has to take up the slack with chores (feeding the animals and caring for FIL being the big ones). I don't know how much help I'll be if we go, though. I'd hate to add one more thing to her plate, KWIM?

That reminds me, I need to check my lottery tix and see if I won this weekend. That would solve a number of problems! Ouch! Did I ask you to pinch me and bring me back to reality?! Sigh! ;-)

Happy New Year

Time has flown since my last post. The holidays have come and gone with a last minute flurry of activity, very much enjoyed by my DS and myself even though DH wasn't able to be with us. We did get to visit with him on web cam for a bit, which was great. We haven't done that in a long time.

So the calendar has turned another page and the new year is now one day old. I sit in my bed, house quiet except for the gentle snoring of my DS in the next room and the rain pattering on the roof outside, and I wonder what this year will bring for us. I normally wish desperately for the year to go by slowly but this year I'm hoping the first 7 months or so go by as quickly as the first day did. This way DH will be home with us and we can begin to make plans for the future again.

I wish all my friends and family a year of peace and happiness. May all your hopes and dreams become reality and may your homes be filled with love and laughter.