My Second Worst Fear

So last night I sat down and started a post but was interrupted by the call of my night owl DS. I don't even really remember what I was going to blather on about.

You see, my sweet little boy (I am trying hard not to call him a baby since he's now 3 years old) was having a difficult day yesterday. I'm not sure what was wrong but I'm beginning to have my suspicions. I really think he's missing his daddy these days.

It all started to gel with me last weekend. I was visiting with my mom when I dropped him off to stay with her while I was at work. She was relating to me the story of one of her clients and his little boy. Apparently it's been a tough custody battle and the boy has been caught in the middle (surprise!). So anyway, the gist of the story is the boy is getting to spend more time with his daddy now. And as my mom was telling me this I noticed that DS had stopped playing with his toys and was on the verge of tears. When I asked him what was wrong he just looked at me and then fell into my chest. I asked him if he missed his daddy and he just nodded. I almost cried.

So this week has proceeded as normal - work, daycare, and our daily phone calls with DH. Normally DS will say a quick "Hi" and be done but lately he's started talking to DH. Of course DH doesn't really catch most of the conversation but he plays along well. Like I said, normal stuff - until yesterday. DS was having the worst day. I swear he had toddler PMS or something. I couldn't even look at him without him dissolving into tears. If I told him he couldn't do something or have something same thing, instant tears. His teacher at day care said the same thing. Even his nap didn't cure his mood like it normally would. So I just let him try to express his frustrations and feelings the best he could. It was a rough day!

Today I picked DS up from day care earlier than normal. We had a great time doing some grocery shopping and playing when we got home. DS has taken to hand games. You know the ones where you hide a ball or something in one hand (with your hands behind your back) and have someone guess which hand it's in. After dinner as I was helping him wash his hands and face DS decided to pretend he had a camera and was taking my picture. We were having great fun with this until I said "Oh, that was a good one! Let's send that one to Daddy!" DS nodded his agreement but was very quiet after that.

This is what I feared would happen. How do I help my son understand why his daddy isn't here when everyone else's daddy is? He's 3 years old for crying out loud! All he knows is his daddy isn't here and there's no way to explain it so he'll understand. Believe me, I've tried. And even if I could explain it it doesn't change the fact that DH isn't home with us and won't be for another 7 mos.

And just in case you were wondering, all the attention lavished upon a child by grandparents and aunts and uncles does not replace a missing parent.