Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Breakdown

So I had my first public breakdown yesterday in the waiting room of the dr's office. My u/s appt was scheduled for 1:30 and I got there a little before to sign in. They'd just opened the office after lunch so there were just a couple people there besides me.

Right after I got there several very pg ladies came in. I just lost it. I started crying and couldn't stop. I cried thru the u/s and barely managed to compose myself while waiting to talk with the NP. When she came in I lost it again. I was supposed to meet with the dr but he was in a delivery (figures!) and wasn't going to make it in. I guess it was good in a way. I really like the NP. She's very sweet.

So we decided to run one more hcg to see what the numbers are doing. I should have those results in this afternoon. I'm thinking I want to go ahead and do the d&c. If yesterday afternoon was any indication of how things will be until this is over, I just want it over. It's not fair to DH and DS to put them thru any more of this. And it's not fair to me either.

2 comments:

Doodle - said...

There is NOTHING fair about this.

Not in the least.

(((((HUGS)))))

Julie said...

(((Oh Mags))) I am so sorry. I agree with Doodle, nothing about this is fair. I'm sorry your appointment was so rough. I had a major breakdown with my 2nd m/c in the dr office too. It's awful. Please keep us posted on what you decide to do.
I'll be sending you lots of prayers and strength vibes my dear friend.