Nothing But Empty Space

Unfortunately, it's not not good news. There was no heartbeat, nothing. Just an empty sac once again. It measured 6w2d but there wasn't anything there. I could tell before the u/s tech had even taken the u/s wand out that something wasn't right. She didn't say much to us and never turned the screen so I could see it.

Luckily DH was able to get away from work to meet me at the dr's office. I wasn't expecting him to be there, but am very glad he was.

We met with the dr after the u/s was over. He had a quant bloodtest done today and I'll go back on Saturday for a repeat to see what my numbers are doing. Depending on the results we'll either schedule another u/s for next week (hoping against hope) or a D&C. He gave us the option to just wait it out but if my body hasn't started the process by then, well I just want it to be over. I can't take the waiting and wondering much longer.

Honestly, I think the end is starting. My symptoms are much weaker than they were even a couple days ago. Still no spotting/bleeding as of now though.

Thanks to everyone for their kind words and support. You have no idea what it's meant to me, and DH. So now I'll go and help my sweet little DS get in his jammies and we'll say a prayer for another little brother or sister who will never be with us except as an angel.

Crossed Fingers

So my doc finally called me back. I did have to bug the office again this morning.

He started to give me the "well, it was most likely too early" speech. I explained to him that I've been temping and know pretty well when I O'd and I was concerned that the baby was measuring so far behind. He agreed it was not good that we didn't see a hb and said he would have his office call and set up another u/s. Not 10 min later the office called and we are set for 11:15 on Thursday the 31st.

Let's just hope there's good news at the end of this wait...

Not Good But Not Bad Either

So, I had my u/s this morning. It didn't start off very well. I waited 20 min past my appt time with a full bladder. Talk about painful! OMG! I wasn't sure I was going to be able to walk when the tech finally came to get me.

So we get in the room and the tech starts pushing(yeah, that's right push on an extremely full bladder) to see what she can see. The screen was facing us so I could see what was going on. There was a sac but nothing in it. I started to panic but managed to hold it in until she could get a better look. She took some measurements and said 5w3d. More panic rising in my brain - I'm supposed to be almost 7 weeks!

Just to double check she decided to do a transvag u/s. Luckily for me she let me go pee and then out came the "dildo cam", as a friend so lovingly calls it;-) Again the same measurement - 5w3d. More panic and tears threatening to cut loose.

So she's given the pictures to the dr to read and now I'm waiting to hear from them on what the next step is. Hopefully another u/s in a week or so, just to see what baby is doing in there.

First Appointment

So my first ob appt was pretty routine - paperwork and labwork.

I'll have an u/s on Tuesday the 22nd for dating purposes. Then we'll schedule additional testing for downs and other genetic issues after that. Typical stuff offered "older" moms.

I'm looking forward to the 22nd, to say the least!

Still Positive

So the good news is, I'm still pg! My dr's office cancelled the appt for yesterday (didn't expect them not to) but they rescheduled for next Thursday, the 17th. I guess I can wait that long.

Oh, and I've managed to only pee on one more hpt so far. I've got two left so well see how long the will power lasts. LOL!

DH is still being cautious. He hasn't told anyone in his family, and neither have I. I want to wait until after the first appt and see how it goes.

A Late Christmas Present

I'm in complete and utter shock right now. AF was due this morning, but didn't show. So, being the good little POAS addict I am, I pulled out the last test in the house and peed. This is a little blurry but you get the idea...





So, now the fear and anxiety of "is this a sticky baby" kicks in. DH is trying not to get his hopes up, just in case. I've still got that appt with the doc on Monday morning. I'll call them first thing and see if they want to keep it or reschedule for later. Honestly, I'm hoping to get in for some bloodwork at least but we'll see.

Happy New Year

I'm a few days late but the sentiment is still there. I wish the best for all of you this year. May your fondest wishes and dreams come true.

We're starting the year off with some good news at our house. No, I'm not pg - yet! AF is due on Saturday and we just might have a shot at making next cycle count. My dr appt is on Monday so that would be just within the window if we develop and implement a plan right way.

The other good news is, DH may not end up leaving the country until the end of 2008. It will suck that he'll be gone for the holidays with no chance of him being home on R&R but that does give us two more months TTC before he leaves.

A thought just occured to me...am I as pathetic as I sound in that last paragraph? I mean really...