Visiting

Today was an odd day. I'd made plans, way back, with my sister to go visit the cemetaries where my grandmother and grandfather are buried. No, they aren't in the same one - long story.

Anyway, we got some swags and took them from one end of the valley to the other. I haven't visited either of them in a couple of years. My grandmother has been gone for 20 yrs come January. I just can't believe it's been that long. Some day I'll tell you about her but for today let's just say I'm missing her alot. And my grandfather has been gone for almost 10 years. Another story for another day.

So we were on our way, boys in tow, when my sister decided to call a dear friend about when we are meeting on Christmas Eve. This friend laid a huge surprise on us, a great and wonderful surprise. A little background...

We've known the G family for many years now. Mrs G worked with my dad. About the time my parents split up the G family was going thru a tough time and ended up living with my mom. At this point they had 5 boys, the youngest just older than a year. One day I went over to visit my mom and was greeted with the news that Mrs G was in the hospital. She had been pregnant and something was wrong with the baby. None of us realized that she was even pg! I'm not clear on all that happened but the outcome was crystal clear, the baby - a little girl - did not make it.

Sarah Elizabeth was a beautiful little girl. I was fortunate enough to be able to see her right after she was born. Mrs G wanted the boys to come to the hospital and I offered to go with them to help. The nurses were so good to the family, much more so than I expected.

So, back to today. Mrs G told my sister that they were going to the cemetary to see Sarah, and her new marker. The G family had been unable to afford a marker 9 years ago when they buried her. A while back Mr G found out about a small local foundation that helps families with the burial costs, partial or all depending on the situation. So they applied for, and got, assistance paying for Sarah's marker and today was the first time they were going to see it. One of the local tv stations decided to do a story on the G family and the foundation that helped them, to promote the work the foundation is doing.

Again I was fortunate enough to go with them today. It's the first time since the funeral that I'd been out there. It is a beautiful marker!

Going with them today was sobering for me. At the time I wasn't a parent, at the time I didn't know that the seemingly simple process of growing and having a baby could go so wrong in such a hurry, at the time I just didn't understand. Today I couldn't help think about Thomas and Ryan, and their parents, as I was standing there. I watched Mr and Mrs G relive the pain of that time 9 years ago (almost exactly) so that others might know they aren't alone in their grief.

I wish I could lessen their pain. Mrs G told me that she still aches for Sarah 9 years later. But if something good can come of reliving that pain then she will gladly do it. I don't know if I could be that giving even after 9 years.