Melancholy Days

I suppose the incessant rain this week has made me feel this way. Maybe not really and truly depressed, just a little blue when I have time to think and no distraction besides the sound of the rain on the eves.

The euphoria of DS's birthday has passed and I'm realizing with each passing day just how grown up he's getting. He had his 3 year check up yesterday and was pronounced healthy as can be by the doctor. I'm glad for that. But the fact that he used the potty (standing up even) while we were out that afternoon and has been pretty consistent about telling me when he has to go makes me both happy and sad. Don't get me wrong, we still have a long way to go to be 100%! But watching him get himself ready (I do it Mommy!) and then actually go... well, he's definitely not a baby any more.

The other thing that has me a little down actually has nothing to do with DS - or me for that matter. I have a dear friend in AZ who has been TTC her first child almost since I got pg with DS. They've gone thru numerous IF treatments and have gotten 2 BFP's, one last Dec and one this past Sept. Both ended in miscarriage. I'm just devastated for her and her DH. I know there's nothing I can do but be here for her to talk if she wants. But even so I really don't know what she's feeling because I've never had to go thru that kind of grueling procedure nor have I had a miscarriage.

And the frustrating part for me comes when I have encounters like I had yesterday at the mall. DS and I were having lunch in the food court while waiting for Santa to finish feeding the reindeer. A little girl about 4 walked up to the hot dog on a stick place and attempted to order her lunch. The gal at the counter asked her where her mommy was and the little girl proceeded to yell across the food court for her mom to come over - for a good 2 minutes! The mom finally worked her way over, pushing a cart with a younger child probably about 1 year old. She was very obviously pg and was very quick to loudly tell the clerk behind the counter she was having twins. Twins! Must...resist...the...urge...to...scream... I couldn't help thinking (rightly or wrongly) how can someone like her end up with 4 kids under the age of 4 and not my friends, the ones who have tried so long and so hard to even bring home one baby.

So, you can see that the weather (and my hormones - PMS is such a wonderful thing) is getting the better of me these days. It's going to be a long week....