No Monkeys in this barrel

My husband is an amazing man. Sure, I know what you are thinking - of course you think he's amazing you married the guy. And you would be right.

But beyond all the "normal" reasons, I think he's amazing because he is willing to anything for me and our son, even risk the perils of war.

You see, he's a proud member of the National Guard. For the last three years he's been on activation, meaning he's been on active duty full time. The first year was relatively easy because he was only stationed a few hundred miles from home. At least he could come home on weekends! And that is the year, miracle of miracles, we got pregnant. I was so lucky he was able to be home when the baby came. Many fathers are not able to be there.

His second mission has taken place over the last year. He's been stationed in the next state over, not terribly far away but further than before. He'd barely come off the first mission when he was sent away again. I know it's been hard for him being away from our son for so long. I can hear it in his voice when he calls to say good night. I can see it in his face when we drop him off at the airport after his "weekend" visits every three weeks. But again, we are lucky because we can still see him every three weeks.

This mission will be over in about 4 weeks. But yet again he is being called upon to leave his family and serve his country - this time overseas. He'll be gone for a year. This time there will be no weekend visits and no goodnight phone calls every night. He will lose almost a whole year with our son. Sure, there will be a quick visit before he actually leaves the country, and a quick 2 week R&R after the first of the year but how do you cram a whole year of your young child's life into 4 weeks? This is weighing heavily on my DH. I hear it in his voice when he calls.

So, how can this possibly be good for our family? Financially it will put us in a place where we can start fresh when he comes home. He is sacrificing this time so that he won't have to work two jobs to help support our family. You see in his "other" life my DH is a Corrections Officer. And despite the importance, and danger, inherent in that job the pay is (in a word) lousy. Fewer bills means he can look for a job he really WANTS when he gets back, instead of having to settle for what he left behind 3 years ago.

And as for me, well I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared shitless. But being the good little Navy brat that I am (my father would be so proud), I suck it up. I push back the fears of IEDs and snipers and try to focus on the fact that he is well trained, as are the other guys he's going with. I talk myself into the belief that "it's not as dangerous" any more. And I hope to God I never see those officers in class A's darken my doorstep.

Heh, I'm a barrel of laughs today aren't I.