Sadness

CK, I'm thinking of you. I know that today (Tuesday) is going to be incredibly difficult for you and your beloved. I just wanted you to know that I'll be sending PPT for you both. I hope this is the last time you have to endure this kind of torture.

Huge hugs for you both!

My Surprise This Week

I have to just mention how surprised I am about something. In my job I work with alot of volunteers. They are the docents at our museum. The make up of this group is really wide ranging - from blue collar on the assembly line guys to upper management at the local airplane manufacturer, from teachers to doctors to CPAs. Their one common love - airplanes. Most, but not all, are retirees. They are an interesting cross section of people.

So this week I've been letting each shift of docents know that next week is my last week. Some seem surprised, some don't. All of them understand my reasons for leaving - keeping my family together. It's been very interesting to see even the gruffest, grumpiest of these guys soften just a little during out meetings this week. They remember what it's like and they sympathize.

Only once did I almost cry this week. I've become close to some fo these men and women. They are truly wonderful people, even if they can get a little grumpy at times.

It's funny, a couple months ago I was talking with my director and mentioning how I had become a little dissillusioned. I'd gone into this job expecting these docents to be like my own grandfather and they weren't. Well, I was wrong. They are just like my grandfather was. Each of them has the same determination that the story of their generation not be forgotten. And each of them has the determination that THEY not be forgotten and that they continue to be able to do something for their community. I'm just really glad they chose this particular museum to share with.

Back from the doctor...

And today's appt was a monumental waste of $20. As soon as I got home from the doctor I had to pee and low and behold AF has made her appearance.

I can't say I'm not a little disappointed. It would have been nice to be pg. But I'm also being honest when I say I'm a little relieved. With all the uncertainty of moving, etc, this will give us time to get settled in.

CD 40 And Counting

So, AF is still a no show. CD 40 is coming to a close. I'm not sure what to think. I've never had a cycle last this long, at least not when I'm not pg. I have an appt with the doctor tomorrow afternoon. I'm not sure what to expect. I guess I'm just hoping to have some kind of definitive answer - am I pg or not. Either way we can deal with it.

And to top it off, I've now got a head cold. I woke up with a stuffy nose this morning. Just what I need to make my life so much more fun.

The Mind Of A Child

It's amazing to me how much my DS has grown up over the last year. When we first moved in with my dad and step mother last summer, DS was very much still a baby - my baby. His verbal skills were a little behind, mostly because we all anticipated what he wanted so he never had to learn to ask for what he wanted. Now the child talks non stop! It's wonderfully frustrating.

His physical abilities have really come into sharp focus as well. Several months ago I bought a t-ball set for him to play with. Now he won't use the tee. He insists that you pitch to him, and he's a good hitter! I think I've lost more weight shagging baseballs for him than I did running after work. LOL! And he's now tall enough to see over the handle of the shopping cart at the grocery store when he's helping push - standing on the under cart shelf.

And just now, as he was watching Chicken Little, after the scene where Goosey Loosey tried to toss Chicken Little out of the gym window, he looked at me and said "Mommy, is it good to throw people out of the window?" The question took me by surprise! I'll admit I was blog stalking and not paying attention to the movie. Of course I ansered him that it wasn't because you could hurt someone, to which he nodded his head and said "Yeah, it's not nice."

Happy 2nd Birthday Ryan!!

I'm sending many hugs to your Mommy and Daddy. I hope they are able to find some peace today. We'll be singing Happy Birthday to you and having cake in your honor tonight.

Sorry to leave you hanging!

So, I POAS (twice in one day!) and it was BFN. So, I'm still sitting here, waiting for AF to show. If she doesn't show by Friday I'll POAS again. Interestingly, the feeling that she is going to come has just gone away. I don't have any IPS to speak of, just some off and on nausea that is easily controlled by having a snack.

On another note, I turned in my resignation at work today. We are headed back to the desert southwest in a couple weeks. I've spent the last couple days researching how we'll get there, places to live, and day cares for DS. I've narrowed down the search to two places to live and a couple of options for day care. Wish me luck deciding.

Still Waiting

So, I survived the week from hell at work. I have to say, as exciting as it is to have the Blue Angels in town, I can honestly say I'll be glad to have them gone. It's made things crazy at work.

As for my temper tantrum from last week, well, there's been no resolution on that front. I'm no closer to seeing a visit from AF now than I was last Tuesday. I'm going to POAS in the morning. I've about come to terms with the idea of not being PG - and the idea that I just might be PG! I have to say, as much as I really want another baby the thought of being pg while dealing with moving, etc is a little daunting. I'll survive, others have done it so I can too. I may not be sane but I can do it!