Yup, believe it or not, I'm almost 40. Normally birthdays don't mean much to me. It's just a number after all, right? But this year it's more than that - it's the end of my time TTC another child. And I'm not sure I can stick to my resolution to move on once Dec 20 rolls around.
After all, it's not like we've had all of the last 5 years to continuously try for another baby. And it's not like we'll have the next 4 mos to keep trying. DH is starting his training this month and, while he'll be in the same state he'll be gone more than he'll be home. I can't count on him being here "when it's time", kwim?
I can't help feeling gyped! It's not fair that I don't get that time! It's not fair! It's not fair!
And in the back of my mind I keep thinking, if I bend my "rule" a little and we let ourselves slide one more year then we'll at least have DH's R&R (possibly) and the 3 mos once he gets back to try.
But do I really want to run that risk? Who's to say that my body hasn't already started shutting down the baby factory?! Look what has happened already this year. And how am I ever going to apologize to my DS for not being able to give him the little brother he wants.
About Me
- Margaret
- Phoenix, Arizona, United States
- I'm a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend.
5 comments:
((((((((HUGS)))))))
((hugs)) Mags. Here's my assvice....don't stop TTC unless your head, your heart AND your body say its time.
I wish there was something more I could say or do other than give you a great big hug. It certainly sounds like you are not on board with your "rule". And...as the saying goes....rules are made to be broken. I know many 40+ woman who have beautifully healthy babies. You just never know.
((((Mags))))
Sweetie I want to give you big ((HUGS)). I agree that rules are meant to be broken. Lots of women bring healthy babies into this world after 40. I will keep you in my prayers!
Elle
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